A Communal Perspective of Growing Up in India & Indian Islam

Note:  The incidents mentioned are real and my personal memoir. Names have been changed and few incidents have been altered (without changing the essence) as not to offend any one personally.

I was born in 1984 in a small town in Hindi Heartland of India in a Hindu middle class family. Most in my joint family were believers  except for my Grand Pa. Like every middle class child I gathered about my religion from things happening in the family. In my childhood, I was never given any special teachings but my world comprised of Hindus;  and Muslims were like aliens (except for I could see them). I even believed they have a different blood and the penis of Muslim men are chopped off (I gathered all this from elders talk). I remember trying to see a Muslim man’s penis while he was pissing on the roadside (a daily habit any INDIAN man). The reason for my interest in Muslims was because I was living in a Muslim dominated area and every time I stepped out of house I saw people who were Muslim. It made my mind curious on what differentiates us from them. Though people in my family had Muslim friends and I remember going with my father and Dadaji to their house on Eid for dinner, I loved their non-veg. One thing, I will like to mention is a Muslim uncle whom we visited all his family were fan of Mahabharata. Their whole family watched it together.

The area in which I lived was called Urdu Bazar officially but Hindus preferably called it Hindi Bazar (as if Urdu is not an Indian thing), this practice continues till date.

Cut to – Somewhere in the late 80s and early 90s:

When Kar-Seva and Babri issue was gaining ground. Curfew was imposed in our town. Though I never saw slightest of violence in and around my house but I saw people preparing for it (fused tube lights and TV tubes being collected on house roofs). In the wake of night or even in daylight heard people shouting Allah ho Akbar! and Jai Shri Ram!  I saw my Chacha (Uncle) and his friends writing BJP on a cow and congress on donkeys. They were even planning to attack a Mosque (but they could just talk). I also heard about an Uncle’s house being attacked by Muslims but police came in at right moment everything was saved. I felt like we’re doing something heroic and was always filled with excitement in those tense times. I was even ready to take part in riots or brake down some Mosque, I remember a slogan which I loved those days, which meant “We have just solved Ayodhaya, the issues (Mosques) in Kashi and Mathura are still left”. I worshiped local BJP MP’s photo who was also Matha-dheesh (Hindu version of Head Clergy)  of Gorakhnath temple.

I remember Muslims busting crackers when Pakistan won a cricket match.

My Grand Ma didn’t allow Muslim people to eat in plates in house or drink water from house utensils, she had all separate glass utensils for my Grand Pa’s Muslim friend. We had Doodhwala supplying milk to our house since 5 years no one asked his religion in those 5 years, but one day we somehow got to know he is a Muslim, strangely my Grand Ma continued to take milk from him.

All of it is now just faint memories just told you whatever has stayed with me.

Cut to few years later when I changed my school in class sixth, year was 1994:

Though living in a Muslim area I never had friends who were Muslim till yet. The new school was far from my house and I had to commute in school bus. This gave me significant Muslim company, reason I was from a Muslim dominated area so many students with whom I shared both the bus and classroom were Muslims. The new school gave me many Muslim friends. I ended up in a group of 4, Nazir, Sharim, Tariq and me. That means 3 Muslims and a lone Hindu (but I didn’t do it because I was a leftist or pro-Muslim), it was simply because we got along well. Ours was a normal friendship of 4 kids who were aware of their religion but who didn’t wear it on their sleeves. One incident which happened early into our friendship which I should quote here is I remember Nazir and Sharim once tried to make me read “Kalma” when we were coming back from a cricket match. I asked them why I should do it, they said because you won’t be a Kafir if you do it, I said, I will do it but only if you agree to come with me to Shiv temple and do Puja, they refused and so did I, that was it. Our friendship continued like ever before.

During our years in school I remember going to Roza-iftar party at my friend’s homes. Eating with 100s of muslims, my folks didn’t object neither did their. My Muslim friends came to my house on diwali and holi participating in puja with a Tilak on forehead, busting crackers (our friendship overgrew religious boundaries).

We were a bunch of looser kids who smoked, watched porn, loved romantic songs and did everything evil for our age. One thing which I didn’t do because of my Muslim friends which other similar losers in my school did was I didn’t booze.

Cut to 2000 when I changed my school again:

for higher secondary education. All of 4 friends got into different schools and streams. But we were in touch.

After completing my school I came to Delhi. My friend Nazir was in Delhi for some work, he was staying in Zakir Nagar (the same area where SIMI headquarter was once located ). I went with him to the place he was staying, it was a Mosque (his relative was a Qari in the Mosque). I spent one night their without people knowing my religion except for Qari sahab and my friend. I heard their arguments, people arguing on Islam few for extremists, few against it (none were for violent extremists though). Few pro-Pakistan and many pro-Indian I was amazed to see how much is the hatred for ‘violent Islamist extremists’ in the Muslim people.

Once, I went to AMU to meet another of my friend Tariq, that day their was a India-Pakistan match and I saw how people (majority Muslims) were watching in 2 groups, they were sitting apart Pakistan supporter, India supporters (I saw many Kashimiris who were pak supporter, my friend confirmed this).

Around the same time when I was doing my college, my father had a important Puja at our shop I couldn’t be present due to college issues (my father asked Nazir to come as I won’t be their). The same Nazir who asked me for reciting the kalma once was sitting at my shop with my father participating in a puja (and yes, he was still a Muslim who did namaz atleast 2 to 5 times a day). One funny thing which happened was one of my relatives who was present during the Puja suggested my father loudly and clearly tht as the shop in front of ours is owned by a Muslim. He said, these Muslims have evil eyes, make sure you do proper Puja and keep cash area covered enough so that they can’t see it. All this while Nazir was present there (even though the difference between a Hindu and Muslim should be so obvious that fellow couldn’t distinguish one sitting there). My father was embarrassed he quickly called Nazir by his name to make it obvious for that relative. Hearing the name he just got up and left the shop. That relative was a lousy guy with evil eyes on most of the things and women (but that’s another story).

Nazir, did not blow my relative or my shop with a bomb for this, when we meet next time, he told me the story as a joke. Some foolishness which I find in Nazir on name of religion which I would like to quote, till date he never takes interest from banks or invest in any saving schemes as interest is Haram. His wife due to his fathers decree wears a veil out of home (but no such purdah is observed when I’m at their home we talk like friends).

Last but not the least story related to my third Muslim friend. Sharim he got into one of india’s most prominent medical colleges. I visited him several times during and all he seemed to do was study. One thing odd about him, he who was the most liberal of three was had grown into most religious. He did Namaz 5 times and always talked religion and studies. One day I got a call from his home on my cell “Beta, you know Sharim kahan hai?” I said he must be at his flat. His mother said three days ago he left for our hometown for his brothers wedding but never reached, his cell is switched off too.  I went to check his flat it was locked from outside he wasn’t there. Soon his relatives poured in, he couldn’t be found, police complaint was logged. We went to his college to check if they knew something. Strange, no one knew anything in college bout him, they didn’t knew such a boy existed, we got the attendance registers checked and phew! this boy hasn’t attended more than 1-2 class for each of the subjects. That was the biggest WTF moment of my life. Well, I came back stayed near to his flat, gave statement in police but around 7-8 days yet no sign of him. Our (includes us friends, Sharim’s family and relatives) biggest fear was either he was kidnapped or he has joined some fundamentalist organization. Believe me, not a single of all those people were happy with the thought that he might have gone with fundamentalist. I meet 100s of Muslims of varying age group all cursing and abusing the fundamentalist mullahs. I meet a mullah who exactly had Osama’s get up but he was hurling abuses on the fundamentalist. Just to clarify for the cynics all this conversation was amongst them  (Muslims gathered there) I was just a listener. And before you think that all was being said because I was present, let me clarify that very few knew my religious identity.

With this I can end my memoirs. In the end, Sharim was found few weeks later. People at his home said he was found in Lucknow sleeping on a footpath by some friend. Only he knows the truth but somehow he felt his friends betrayed him and he didn’t talk to us. Till date this will remain one of the biggest unsolved mysteries of my life.

In all my years of growing up I have been very closely associated with Indian Muslims.  I have closely seen a not so liberal Muslim taking part in Puja at my home, a Muslim friend of my maternal Grand Pa who married a christian and let her remain christian, I have seen closely Maulanas who hate fundamentalist. I have lived as neighbors to a family who till 2003 haven’t bought a TV because it was unislamic. I have seen Indian Muslim boys who played cricket with me, supporting Pakistan.

I have had many more Muslim friends through out college and life. I have a Muslim friend who said our festivals and marriages are so boring. I have had muslim friend who could drink (alcohol) without a second thought and still offer Namaz and call themselves Muslims. I know one who has never offered a Namaz since he was 16 years old but still called him Muslim.

My Thoughts:

Before branding Muslims as Terrorists unanimously a few points I want you to consider.

Religion is something which we’re born with, its just accident of birth which makes you a Hindu or Muslism or Jew or Christian or Sikh or Parsi. The world is such that we’re bound to love have pride in things which are bestowed upon us merely because of where we’re born. Like we’re all proud of our parents, country, ethnicity and on most cases religion. Some who is born a muslim doesn’t mean you can brand them terrorist. I know about Islamist extremist and the problems in Islam. I know Islam viels women (thr talk about equality to women is pure hypocrisy). Islam bans most of musical instruments as per the hadis. Islam asks for a Jehad. But then again majority of followers defy all this and still call them Muslims.

I know many countries resorting to draconian laws in name of Islam, making adultery a punishable offence, banning mixing of opposite sexes, banning art & literature which criticizes Islam. It’s not a religion which allows criticism of it. But their are people who do not believe in all this and still call them Muslims.

As a religion Christianity has had its violence too but know it has evolved. Evolve to the level that they do not mind making fun of Jesus. They are the most tolerant people these days, more tolerant than us Hindus. Ofcourse, they have their share of fanatics but the number is limited.

I wish the same from Islam, I want Islam to be a religion as portrayed in the movie “Khuda Kay Liye” (it might sound mushy but I loved the movie and the path it showed for Islam). The movie was created in Pakistan and was one of biggest box office grosser in Pakistan and other parts of the world too, doesn’t it say something about people who are moderate and Muslim?

Moderate islam for me it is an interpretation of Islam which takes only the moderate versus of Koran. Who condemns fundamentalism of any form. Who doesn’t interfere with personal life of its followers. Islam which leaves issues like sex and dressing to the personal choice of followers and doesn’t approve of religion based violence.

When you say Islam can’t evolve let me tell you it has, it has in form of Sufism. And yes it’s not one evil religion there are have several tentacles of Islam to name a few: Shia, Sunni (Whabai & Barelvi), Ahmediya and may be few more. The worst of it is Saudi sponsored Wahabi Islam. They do consider them as the only true Islam and rest all as Infidels.  One interesting fact to add here would be Islam came to India not through a sword. It came amicably in Kerala through Arab traders.

My definition of Islam or Indian Islam is – Islam of sufis, Islam in the song Allah-hu, Islam of Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti.

And above all Islam which believes in Non-violence.

I never shy from using the word Islamists Terrorist and no one should. But my plea is please never ever say all Muslims are terrorists.

My appeal to all Muslims: Please be critical of all extremists. The worst thing they’re doing is defaming your religion. Modi or Gujrat Riots can’t be excuse for breeding terrorists, the Kashmiri Pandits have faced worst of violence in their life and they continue to live as refuges in their own country, yet none of them has turned violent.

Violence & more hatred can never lead us no where.

With this I rest my case.

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