Dharamshala- Mcleodgunj- Khajjiar Travelog

Back from the Trip. Had a great time! Wish we could have stayed longer.

Here is a brief trip report:

Locations covered: Dharamshala- Mcleodgunj- Khajjiar

Date: Nov 23 -27, 2011

A Slide Show of Pics:

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Nov 23: This day was wasted in the train and trip started a day late as our train was 9 hours late. We reached Pathankot at 9:00 PM. Ashokji (Driver from Honey Travels) was waiting at the station with a Tata Indica. We drove to Dharamshala. Booked a hotel in Bhagsu at around 12:30 and slept.

Nov 24:Woke up late. Blame it on the few pegs of RUM last night. [cry] Didn’t like the hotel much so decided to change it. Packed checked out. Walked to Bhagsu temple and waterfall. Climbed all the way to Shiva Temple and Shiva Cafe. A tiring walk for us but as we reached at the top it was all worth it. The food at Shiva Cafe has nothing to write about but the setting is just Wow! Climbed down after spending couple of hours. Asked people for way to Family Pizzeria. Locals tell us its a 15 min. walk in the Upper Bhagsu. Decided to climb. After climbing 15 mins, we asked locals they said just 15 mins. And this happened thrice. So we finally reached the Pizzeria after 45 mins. uphill climb. Man, never worked so much for food. While I was wondering “Do people really walk so much for Pizza?” the third person whom we asked for path dropped a bomb on us saying we took the wrong path. Path via Dharamkot could have been much easier.

Anyways the Pizza was good and the walk was an adventure, so no regrets. We climbed down to Dharamkot. Took our cab to Naddi village to check into a Hotel. Logged into Hotel Devyansh. Rs. 850/ night with a Room Heater. The hotel was nice and clean. Amazingly we were the only guests in the entire hotel at this time. I will recommend the Hotel anyone who is willing to stay in Naddi. Since it was already evening we took cab to Mcleodgunj and decided to stroll around the bazaars of Mcleodgunj. Dinner was at a place called Norlling Resturant, recommended by Rocky & Mayur of Highway on my Plate. We had Thukpa and Momos. Loved it. Also, got some packed for Hotel Room. Back to the hotel room I decided to have a few pegs of Old Monk. Wife decided to sleep. The Rum got me. [cry] I drank for about 4 hours. Also tweeted while drinking. [Blush] Didn’t knew when I fell asleep.

Nov 25: It was the day when we had to trek to Triund. Wife tried to wake me since 07:00 AM but the Old Monk’s effect proved to be dearer. [Blush] Well finally I could wake up at around 10:00. Getting ready and breakfast took another hour. So, by the time we reached Dharamkot it was already 11:30. Spoke with the shop wala asking the way to Triund. He told us its already to late for a single day trek. We can go up only if we decide to stay the night up there. We were not sure of the night arrangement so with a heavy heart decided to skip it. Trekking to Triund was the part I was most excited about in the entire trip and there it goes. Cursed myself for drinking. But we had an option the hotel owner told us we can trek down the Naddi village to river. Its a 45 mins. downhill trek and climbing back would take around 2 hours. So went back to Naddi and when asked for the path to the river was told it is already late to start downhill for river. And may be by the time we return it will be dark. Heck! Here goes another plan. I was mad at myself. Probably wife wasn’t so angry because she felt relieved from more walking (our legs were still aching from yesterdays excursions. Eventually, we decided to visit Dalai Lama temple, Tibetan Museum, IPL Stadium, Norbulingka Monastrey. Thankfully it wasn’t too late for these. The visit to all three places proved worth it. The Tibetan Museum was special. One can’t come out of this place emotionally uncharged for the Tibetans and their cause. We couldn’t resist buying some souvenirs with the Tibetan Flags.

Mcleodgunj is so politically charged yet so peaceful and laid back. I just fell in love with this place. From thousands “Free Tibet” banners & posters to a “Free Palestina” scribe on the wall near Israeli area of Bhagsu, I loved it all.

We promised ourselves to return to Mcleodgunj on the next available opportunity for a longer trip. Also, complete the Triund trekking and may be go further to the Snow point.

Nov 26: The plan was to reach Khajjiar via Jot pass and complete Diankund, Kalatop. Again I woke up late. We couldn’t leave Hotel before 11:00 AM. Reached Khajjiar by 02:00 PM via Jot. The decision to go via Jot as suggested by other IMers was really worth it. The view one gets from the Jot pass is really spectacular. In route we stopped at a Dhaba which had access to the River Beas flowing below. We climbed down to the river. The water was so clean and the place so scenic. Can’t remember exact place it was. Reached Jot. Checked into Hotel Devdar (rent Rs. 1612/ per night). Was apprehensive because of the Sarkari tag. But it was a decent stay. In no way different from a privately operated hotel. Rested for short while at the Hotel. It was already to late for Dainkund/ Kalatop. Roamed in Khajjiar. Took a horse but I don’t think that was needed, could have tried Zorbbing instead. Walked to a sign board saying Orchid restaurant. The food was ok. But it can be visited for the view it has from the restaurant (Opt to site in the open if its not too cold). Khajjiar doesn’t have much to do. After the evening sets in all you can do sit in the hotel and watch TV. But for the sheer beauty of the place we loved staying at Khajjiar.

Nov 27: Plan was to visit Kalatop / Dainkund and reach Amritsar in time for train (04:55 PM) if possible an hour before and visit Golden Temple. Today we could leave the hotel by 8:00 AM. Ashokji (our cab driver)  suggested we should skip Kalatop as there isn’t much to do just “Junglee Rasta” and will eat up our time which we don’t have much. We agreed. Reached Dainkund (till the point a can go) it was still 1-1.5 K.M. climb uphill. It wasn’t again a easy climb for someone like us. But we completed it nevertheless. Since we were early there were no tourists around. We almost felt we’re on wrong path as no one can be seen. But the wrappers of chips, chewing gums thrown around helped us keep our faith that we’re not on the wrong path. The path is beautiful. Added to the beauty was that we’re the only two people along the path. The feeling of being alone added to the serenity. The temple atop is a Mata temple. The location was beautiful. It’s a must visit if you’re in and around Dalhousie. Climbing up and down to Dainkund took 1.5 hours. We left Dainkund by 10:30. As decided we gave Dalhousie a skip just drove past Gandhi Chowk on the way. Stopped in way for lunch at a place after entering Punjab. Can’t remember the name but the place served good typical Punjabi Dhaba food. Barely reached Amritsar in time to catch the train. Thanks to bad Punjab roads from Pathankot to Amritsar. I was expecting something like Delhi – Chandigarh road, considering Punjab is a rich state. But the roads really sucked add to that a traffic jam. Anyways we couldn’t visit Golden Temple and just reached in time to hop on to the Shatabdi Express.

Some remarks, regrets and what I loved most:

Honey Travels for cab was good. We paid Rs. 7500/- for Nov 23 – Nov 27 all inclusive. The car was in good condition. The driver (Ashokji) was expert, knew the area well. He knew the good midway stops  for food. Helped us check into a good hotel at Naddi Village. I would recommend Honey Travels to anyone traveling in that area. You can visit them at http://honeytravels.com

Regrets wish I could have woke early on all the mornings. But then wasn’t I on vacation .

Not being able to do Triund trek is one regret I carry till date.

The best part of the trip for us was the climb to Bhagsu Waterfall and further to Shiva Cafe. Also, the visit to the Tibetans Museum, Moanstery. We’re surely going back to the Mcleodgunj!

Rockstar: what clicked for me

A friend asked me how was the movie and I replied “Palangtood”

Two things which Rockstar did to me:
It dragged me to theater after 6 months (my last movie was Onir’s I Am). The promos had that something which I couldn’t resist watching on big screen.
And It made me blog again after a really long time.

The Bad Part
Nargis Fakhri is probably the worst actress ever in a mainstream film. Even Mayuri Kango acted better. Her acting makes Katrina Kaif seem like goddess of acting.

This scene in which Nargis is shown for the first time in the city of Parague, she is chatting with her sister-in-law in a mall. Both the actors in the scene looks like are competing to get the worst actor award. All I can say is this scene makes people in Sona Slim Belt advertisements look better as actors.

I can’t understand what on earth made Imtiaz choose Nargis as lead and more surprising is he eventually completed the film with her. Leave Nargis some other character actors are so bad. Why, sir why? Is there such a dearth of character actors?

And the Good
10/10 to Ranbir Kapoor for his acting and 10/10 to the people who worked to make him look the “Rockstar”.
Do I need say about music (AR Rehman) and vocals (Mohit Chauhan)?
I can just watch this movie 10 times on the big screen to watch the songs.

Second half:
The first half of the movie didn’t affect me much. We’ve seen cool people playing Friends and realizing they’re in love but not saying it many times. So, two different cool people again play on the same rules.

The real deal was the second half.

I agree the movie is dumbed down but not to the extent which disrespects my intelligence as a viewer. It is actually quiet subtle in many parts.

I was always like why these crazy Rockstars behave like nuts. Why the self-destructing ways when you get so much from life?

Rockstar made me realize that. It made me at least get a glimpse or a window to understanding of that self-destruction through Ranbir’s character.

I loved each and every bit of his self-destructiveness and his middle finger showing attitude to the word.

Yes, it sucks when people praise you and you know your life sucks. You seem to get all the things in the world except for what you really want.

There is a scene when Rockstar Ranbir meets his college buddies in a sort of reunion. He goes there to meet his friends while the friends actually came looking to meet the Rockstar. You’ve to watch the scene to know.

I wish:
Wish this movie had a better lead actress. Even Katrina would have done wonders.
Wish they could have little less bollywoodisation. Like Shammi Kapoor dialogues “Uspe Khuda Ka Noor Hai”
Wish some of the character actors were not so bad (Particularly actors playing Narigs’a in-laws).

All I can end up with is - Jo Bhi Main Kehna Chahu Barbad Karein Alfaaz Mere.

I’m watching it again next weekend.

Victims are all we are.

After a long long time I’m in that mood again. All I see around me are victims. Victims of love, victims of responsibilities, victims of betrayal, victims of the system. The victims produce more victims and the chain goes on and on. I feel no anger, no disgust, no hate all I feel is sympathy, sympathy for everyone including me.

A Communal Perspective of Growing Up in India & Indian Islam

Note:  The incidents mentioned are real and my personal memoir. Names have been changed and few incidents have been altered (without changing the essence) as not to offend any one personally.

I was born in 1984 in a small town in Hindi Heartland of India in a Hindu middle class family. Most in my joint family were believers  except for my Grand Pa. Like every middle class child I gathered about my religion from things happening in the family. In my childhood, I was never given any special teachings but my world comprised of Hindus;  and Muslims were like aliens (except for I could see them). I even believed they have a different blood and the penis of Muslim men are chopped off (I gathered all this from elders talk). I remember trying to see a Muslim man’s penis while he was pissing on the roadside (a daily habit any INDIAN man). The reason for my interest in Muslims was because I was living in a Muslim dominated area and every time I stepped out of house I saw people who were Muslim. It made my mind curious on what differentiates us from them. Though people in my family had Muslim friends and I remember going with my father and Dadaji to their house on Eid for dinner, I loved their non-veg. One thing, I will like to mention is a Muslim uncle whom we visited all his family were fan of Mahabharata. Their whole family watched it together.

The area in which I lived was called Urdu Bazar officially but Hindus preferably called it Hindi Bazar (as if Urdu is not an Indian thing), this practice continues till date.

Cut to – Somewhere in the late 80s and early 90s:

When Kar-Seva and Babri issue was gaining ground. Curfew was imposed in our town. Though I never saw slightest of violence in and around my house but I saw people preparing for it (fused tube lights and TV tubes being collected on house roofs). In the wake of night or even in daylight heard people shouting Allah ho Akbar! and Jai Shri Ram!  I saw my Chacha (Uncle) and his friends writing BJP on a cow and congress on donkeys. They were even planning to attack a Mosque (but they could just talk). I also heard about an Uncle’s house being attacked by Muslims but police came in at right moment everything was saved. I felt like we’re doing something heroic and was always filled with excitement in those tense times. I was even ready to take part in riots or brake down some Mosque, I remember a slogan which I loved those days, which meant “We have just solved Ayodhaya, the issues (Mosques) in Kashi and Mathura are still left”. I worshiped local BJP MP’s photo who was also Matha-dheesh (Hindu version of Head Clergy)  of Gorakhnath temple.

I remember Muslims busting crackers when Pakistan won a cricket match.

My Grand Ma didn’t allow Muslim people to eat in plates in house or drink water from house utensils, she had all separate glass utensils for my Grand Pa’s Muslim friend. We had Doodhwala supplying milk to our house since 5 years no one asked his religion in those 5 years, but one day we somehow got to know he is a Muslim, strangely my Grand Ma continued to take milk from him.

All of it is now just faint memories just told you whatever has stayed with me.

Cut to few years later when I changed my school in class sixth, year was 1994:

Though living in a Muslim area I never had friends who were Muslim till yet. The new school was far from my house and I had to commute in school bus. This gave me significant Muslim company, reason I was from a Muslim dominated area so many students with whom I shared both the bus and classroom were Muslims. The new school gave me many Muslim friends. I ended up in a group of 4, Nazir, Sharim, Tariq and me. That means 3 Muslims and a lone Hindu (but I didn’t do it because I was a leftist or pro-Muslim), it was simply because we got along well. Ours was a normal friendship of 4 kids who were aware of their religion but who didn’t wear it on their sleeves. One incident which happened early into our friendship which I should quote here is I remember Nazir and Sharim once tried to make me read “Kalma” when we were coming back from a cricket match. I asked them why I should do it, they said because you won’t be a Kafir if you do it, I said, I will do it but only if you agree to come with me to Shiv temple and do Puja, they refused and so did I, that was it. Our friendship continued like ever before.

During our years in school I remember going to Roza-iftar party at my friend’s homes. Eating with 100s of muslims, my folks didn’t object neither did their. My Muslim friends came to my house on diwali and holi participating in puja with a Tilak on forehead, busting crackers (our friendship overgrew religious boundaries).

We were a bunch of looser kids who smoked, watched porn, loved romantic songs and did everything evil for our age. One thing which I didn’t do because of my Muslim friends which other similar losers in my school did was I didn’t booze.

Cut to 2000 when I changed my school again:

for higher secondary education. All of 4 friends got into different schools and streams. But we were in touch.

After completing my school I came to Delhi. My friend Nazir was in Delhi for some work, he was staying in Zakir Nagar (the same area where SIMI headquarter was once located ). I went with him to the place he was staying, it was a Mosque (his relative was a Qari in the Mosque). I spent one night their without people knowing my religion except for Qari sahab and my friend. I heard their arguments, people arguing on Islam few for extremists, few against it (none were for violent extremists though). Few pro-Pakistan and many pro-Indian I was amazed to see how much is the hatred for ‘violent Islamist extremists’ in the Muslim people.

Once, I went to AMU to meet another of my friend Tariq, that day their was a India-Pakistan match and I saw how people (majority Muslims) were watching in 2 groups, they were sitting apart Pakistan supporter, India supporters (I saw many Kashimiris who were pak supporter, my friend confirmed this).

Around the same time when I was doing my college, my father had a important Puja at our shop I couldn’t be present due to college issues (my father asked Nazir to come as I won’t be their). The same Nazir who asked me for reciting the kalma once was sitting at my shop with my father participating in a puja (and yes, he was still a Muslim who did namaz atleast 2 to 5 times a day). One funny thing which happened was one of my relatives who was present during the Puja suggested my father loudly and clearly tht as the shop in front of ours is owned by a Muslim. He said, these Muslims have evil eyes, make sure you do proper Puja and keep cash area covered enough so that they can’t see it. All this while Nazir was present there (even though the difference between a Hindu and Muslim should be so obvious that fellow couldn’t distinguish one sitting there). My father was embarrassed he quickly called Nazir by his name to make it obvious for that relative. Hearing the name he just got up and left the shop. That relative was a lousy guy with evil eyes on most of the things and women (but that’s another story).

Nazir, did not blow my relative or my shop with a bomb for this, when we meet next time, he told me the story as a joke. Some foolishness which I find in Nazir on name of religion which I would like to quote, till date he never takes interest from banks or invest in any saving schemes as interest is Haram. His wife due to his fathers decree wears a veil out of home (but no such purdah is observed when I’m at their home we talk like friends).

Last but not the least story related to my third Muslim friend. Sharim he got into one of india’s most prominent medical colleges. I visited him several times during and all he seemed to do was study. One thing odd about him, he who was the most liberal of three was had grown into most religious. He did Namaz 5 times and always talked religion and studies. One day I got a call from his home on my cell “Beta, you know Sharim kahan hai?” I said he must be at his flat. His mother said three days ago he left for our hometown for his brothers wedding but never reached, his cell is switched off too.  I went to check his flat it was locked from outside he wasn’t there. Soon his relatives poured in, he couldn’t be found, police complaint was logged. We went to his college to check if they knew something. Strange, no one knew anything in college bout him, they didn’t knew such a boy existed, we got the attendance registers checked and phew! this boy hasn’t attended more than 1-2 class for each of the subjects. That was the biggest WTF moment of my life. Well, I came back stayed near to his flat, gave statement in police but around 7-8 days yet no sign of him. Our (includes us friends, Sharim’s family and relatives) biggest fear was either he was kidnapped or he has joined some fundamentalist organization. Believe me, not a single of all those people were happy with the thought that he might have gone with fundamentalist. I meet 100s of Muslims of varying age group all cursing and abusing the fundamentalist mullahs. I meet a mullah who exactly had Osama’s get up but he was hurling abuses on the fundamentalist. Just to clarify for the cynics all this conversation was amongst them  (Muslims gathered there) I was just a listener. And before you think that all was being said because I was present, let me clarify that very few knew my religious identity.

With this I can end my memoirs. In the end, Sharim was found few weeks later. People at his home said he was found in Lucknow sleeping on a footpath by some friend. Only he knows the truth but somehow he felt his friends betrayed him and he didn’t talk to us. Till date this will remain one of the biggest unsolved mysteries of my life.

In all my years of growing up I have been very closely associated with Indian Muslims.  I have closely seen a not so liberal Muslim taking part in Puja at my home, a Muslim friend of my maternal Grand Pa who married a christian and let her remain christian, I have seen closely Maulanas who hate fundamentalist. I have lived as neighbors to a family who till 2003 haven’t bought a TV because it was unislamic. I have seen Indian Muslim boys who played cricket with me, supporting Pakistan.

I have had many more Muslim friends through out college and life. I have a Muslim friend who said our festivals and marriages are so boring. I have had muslim friend who could drink (alcohol) without a second thought and still offer Namaz and call themselves Muslims. I know one who has never offered a Namaz since he was 16 years old but still called him Muslim.

My Thoughts:

Before branding Muslims as Terrorists unanimously a few points I want you to consider.

Religion is something which we’re born with, its just accident of birth which makes you a Hindu or Muslism or Jew or Christian or Sikh or Parsi. The world is such that we’re bound to love have pride in things which are bestowed upon us merely because of where we’re born. Like we’re all proud of our parents, country, ethnicity and on most cases religion. Some who is born a muslim doesn’t mean you can brand them terrorist. I know about Islamist extremist and the problems in Islam. I know Islam viels women (thr talk about equality to women is pure hypocrisy). Islam bans most of musical instruments as per the hadis. Islam asks for a Jehad. But then again majority of followers defy all this and still call them Muslims.

I know many countries resorting to draconian laws in name of Islam, making adultery a punishable offence, banning mixing of opposite sexes, banning art & literature which criticizes Islam. It’s not a religion which allows criticism of it. But their are people who do not believe in all this and still call them Muslims.

As a religion Christianity has had its violence too but know it has evolved. Evolve to the level that they do not mind making fun of Jesus. They are the most tolerant people these days, more tolerant than us Hindus. Ofcourse, they have their share of fanatics but the number is limited.

I wish the same from Islam, I want Islam to be a religion as portrayed in the movie “Khuda Kay Liye” (it might sound mushy but I loved the movie and the path it showed for Islam). The movie was created in Pakistan and was one of biggest box office grosser in Pakistan and other parts of the world too, doesn’t it say something about people who are moderate and Muslim?

Moderate islam for me it is an interpretation of Islam which takes only the moderate versus of Koran. Who condemns fundamentalism of any form. Who doesn’t interfere with personal life of its followers. Islam which leaves issues like sex and dressing to the personal choice of followers and doesn’t approve of religion based violence.

When you say Islam can’t evolve let me tell you it has, it has in form of Sufism. And yes it’s not one evil religion there are have several tentacles of Islam to name a few: Shia, Sunni (Whabai & Barelvi), Ahmediya and may be few more. The worst of it is Saudi sponsored Wahabi Islam. They do consider them as the only true Islam and rest all as Infidels.  One interesting fact to add here would be Islam came to India not through a sword. It came amicably in Kerala through Arab traders.

My definition of Islam or Indian Islam is – Islam of sufis, Islam in the song Allah-hu, Islam of Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti.

And above all Islam which believes in Non-violence.

I never shy from using the word Islamists Terrorist and no one should. But my plea is please never ever say all Muslims are terrorists.

My appeal to all Muslims: Please be critical of all extremists. The worst thing they’re doing is defaming your religion. Modi or Gujrat Riots can’t be excuse for breeding terrorists, the Kashmiri Pandits have faced worst of violence in their life and they continue to live as refuges in their own country, yet none of them has turned violent.

Violence & more hatred can never lead us no where.

With this I rest my case.

Some of the things to do before I die

A few things I would like to do before I die.

Learn Bengali (So that I can read all of fabulous Bengali literature in original and understand Baul gaan)
Learn Persian (To read and understand all of Ghalib in original)
Learn French (I love the sound of French, moreover to watch French cinema w/o subtitles)
and learn a few more language.

Take a month long vacation in Varanasi, stay by the Ganga. Live like a sage and experience a sage’s life. I want to rome around the city area in a saffron robe.

Visit to Mecca (though I have heard they don’t let infidels in to the holy place, please correct me if I’m wrong)

Vacation to Iran for 3-6 months. Live with the youth out there.

Vacation to 1-2 weeks Pakistan  (esp. Lahore) (I heard they have fantastic food.)

Visit to Bade Miyan Kebab shop in Mumbai. Visit to Dharavi too & Colaba (I dare write them together but both are sort of extreme ends.) Oh, yes I confess I have never been to Mumbai. And I want to take a month long vacation to Mumbai.

A visit to MoSex in NY. (Salute to America, a museum on sex, can’t say when India will have one. I wish we’re as broad minded as our ancestors who had the guts for Khajuraho).

A week long stay in some village in Rajsthan (To experience the hospitality and the life in the deserts)

Meet a real Fortuneteller or someone who is Psychic or someone who has special abilities, someone like Sherlock Homes.

Visit to Bhutan. One of the least developed yet happiest countries of the world.

Visit Belur Math and Shantiniketan.

Things will keep adding to the list  as I learn and see more from the life. I’m starting with the Persian lessons in few days. Hope, I live long to do all I have mentioned here. Do let me know if you have such a list, would love to read it.

The Ruler

They say there is Ruler, who rules all and every.
He owns all the actions and reactions.They say the ruler is just.
The ruler has never been seen, they just tend and pretend to know him.

Questioning The Ruler is SIN. You got to believe and sing he is, he is and he is the greatest and the almighty.

The feeble me inside has questions, which please would anyone answer.
If he is why is it the way it is?
If he is almighty and it is from his will, isn’t he evil.
If he is, why does he needed be praised day, night and evening?
If he is, does he really has the powers they talk about?
If he is, why those who follow suffer?
If he is, why should I need a book to guide me to follow him?
If he is and we need a book, which one is correct? As he is the almighty why doesn’t he destroy all the incorrect books and let only the correct one remain?

“NARENDARA MODI BHOSADIKA”

Originally posted in 2009.

Got this video on someone’s profile on Orkut:

With all those talks going around about how NARENDARA MODI should be the next PM. Like many even I started to believe in his great leadership qualities. This video came in at right time as an eye opener atleast for me.

When the big and mighty and the Ideals of new order like Ratan Tata, Ambani, Sunil Mittal say something a feeble nobody like me easily gets trapped.

The video brings back all the horror, anger in me which I felt during Gujrat roits. I just can’t understand what is wrong with these big and mighty, they’re siding with a killer a man who is a bigger sinner than Ajmal Kasab.
Narendra Modi killed many more Indians than Ajmal Kasab and still he is being projected as the next PM.

The above words don’t even express a fraction of my anger, may be English will always be a secondary language for me.

Sab pagal hain yahan, ek hatyare ko desh ka karta-dharta banane pe tulley hain. Ye toh wahi baat hui ki ek balatkari balatkar kare aur fir apne shikar ke vikas aur uthhan ki baatein kare. Narendara Modi ek balatkari hai usne mere desh ka, insaniyat ka balatkar kiya hai, ek baar nahi kai baar kiya hai. Ussey koi haq nahi is desh pe raj karne kaa. Jispe jail mein daal ke mukadma chalana thaa usko raj gaddi pe baitha rahe ho. Main puchta hun jo insaan is Modi ki wakalat karta hai ussey, kya tum apni beti ke balatkari ko bhi jaruat pe aise hi izzat dogey aur sab kuch bhul ke usey sir pe baithaogey. Sayad iska bhi jawab haan hai, tabhi toh jisne is desh ka balatkar kiyaa usey sir pe baitha rahe ho.

Kuch samjh nahi aa raha bas dil karr raha hai sadakon pe jaaun aur jor-jor se chillaun

“NARENDARA MODI BHOSADIKA”,

aisa karne pe sab pagal kahengey. Kya waqt hai, kya jamana hai, kya desh hai mera, main apne desh ke balatkari ko sadak pe gali dun toh main pagal aur jo usey isi desh ka karta-dharta “Pradhanmantri” banane ki baat kare wo zimmedar aur izzetdar nagrik.

Sala agar yehi hai badappan aur yehi hai duniya, mujhe fir se bachpan mein dal do, main 8-9 saal ki umar se jyada bada nahi hona chahta, mujhe mere bachpan mein wapas bhej do.

Jai Ho Bharat, Jai HO!!!

Yehi Duniya hai toh fir aisi Ye Duniya Kyun hai… Yehi Hota hai toh Akhir Yehi Hota Kyun hai…

Kaifi Azmi sahab ki ye do pankatiyan puri tarah se meri vartman manshik stithi ko darshati hain.
I’m confused, I’m bitter something inside me is troubling me. I’m unable to understand this world.

What the fuck I’m stuck in, what kind of world is this, what should i do, what is all this madness around, I feel like doing drugs. I feel like ending this life, i don’t know what to say or do, I’m fucked.

Sahi galat, sach jhuth ke sare mayne dhumil hote jaa rahe hain. Ek ajeeb sa andhakar dikhane lagta hai chaaro oor. Sab jhuth lagta hai, sabse nafrat ho jati hai. man karta hai ek bhayankar visphot ho, aur sab kuch khatam ho jaye. Ya fir mere dimag mein ek visphot ho aur main khatam ho jaun.

ek taswir banti hai dimag mein. kabhi lagta hai main sthir hun aur sab ghum raha hai aur kabhi lagta hai sab sthir hai aur main ghum raha hun. samajh mein nahi ata kaun si tasvir haqeekat hai.

Kya rakha hai yahan, kya paa lunga main yaha, sab ganda hai galat hai, kyun jina aise, ek napunsak zindagi ka bojh bardasht nahi ho pata kabhi-kabhi lagta hai khud ko khatam karna hi ek rasta hai.

Logon ko khus dekhta hun toh paresan ho jata hun, kaise khus hain sab yahan, kaise jo chal raha hai usko bardast kar rahe hain log.
sab bhulawe mein jite hain, sach se muh feer ke rehte hain, parr kyun pata nahi.

kisi cheez ka koi maapdand nahi humare samaj mein, humesa izzat naam ke parde se sach ko dhak ke rakha jata hai. sab ek jhuthi izzat ke liye jite hain aur marte hain. pata nahi kaise hai ye izzat, kisne banai hai iski ye jhuthi kasauti. jis samaj ki kasauti hi itni jhuthi hai kaise mann lun sach usko.

sab burey hain maa baap bhai behen chacha mama dada aur jo bhi rishta sonch sakta hun. kisi ko insaan ki parwah nahi bas ek jutha samjh aur usme apni juthi izzat ke liye jitey hain. bachpan mein jhuth bolne pe bacche ko marte hain aur bade hone pe usi bacche ko sabse pehle beimaan hona batate hain. bacchon ko kamchori buri hai ye batate hain, aur fir usi ko kehte hain sarkari naukri sabse acchi hai kyunki usmein kamm nahi karna hota, kuch karo ya na karo naukri bachi rehti hai,aur upar ki kamai alag. kaisa dhancha hai ye, kis taraf le jaa rahe ho duniya ko.

sab bhagwan ko mante hain, harr cheez jo khud nahi karr patey wo bhagwan ke matthe daal dete hain. bhagwan ko ek mante hain uski puja karte hain usko pawan aur pavitra kehte hain aur usi ke naam pe ek dusre ki jaan lete hain, sirf jaan hi nahi lete balki usi bhagwan aur dharm ke naam pe balatkar karte hain. fir ye sab karne ke badd samaj mein unchey khade hotey hain, apni maa beheno se najar milate hain aur unke liye samaj mein jine ke maap-dand tay karte hain.

dharamguru aur dharam ke thekedar jaise chahein waise dharam ko madodtey hain aur humare samne rakhtey hain aur hum apni dimag ka istemal kiye bina usi ko sach mante hain. sab ko dikhata hai ki dharamke thekedar dharm ke naam pe kya kya nahi karte, kisi ki jaan lene se leke , bacchon ke sath sambandh banana, pooja ke naam pe izzat lutna ye sab karte hue dharmguru pakade jate hain. parr hum ye sab kuch dekh ke bhi andhe bane rehte hain inhi dharam guruon ko mante hain inhi ke maapdando pe chalte hain. kaisa andhapan hai ye.

kisi ko ye nahi sunna ki kehne wala kya keh raha hai iska matlab kya hai. yahan kaun kehta hai ye jyada jaruri hai banispat ki kya kaha jaa raha hai. behre hain sab log yahan. khud kya chahte hain kisi ko koi nahi pata na koi janna chahta hai, sabko ye pata hai samaj kya chahta hai, samajh ke hisab se kaise jiye.

mansik rup se andhe beharey hain sab yahan. ek bhedon ka jhund hai jisko koi bhi danda leke hank sakta hai. koi bhi desh, koi bh sadi, koi bhi samajh, bas agar hum dekhein toh yehi payenge ki humesa humein bhedon ki tarah hanka gaya hai. kuch nahi badlta, badlta hai toh bas hankane wala aur dunda jissey hanka jata hai.

hum filmein dekhtey hain jo switzerland aur london mein shoot ki jati hain, jisme sab amir hotey hain sab khus hotey, aisi filmein jo humare bhulawe ko majboot karti hain. in filmon ka sacchai se koi wasta nahi hota ye bas sapne ki duniya banati hain aur humein bhulawe ko badhawa deti hain. hummein itni bhi shakti nahi ki apni sacchai ko parde pe dekh shake. sab kuch se muh pher lete hain aur raat ke adnhere mein jine wale hazaron rakchason ko zindagi dete hain. hum mante hi nahi ki buraiyan hain toh unko badlengey ya ladenge khaak. isi bhulawe mein jina rakchason ko janam deta hai. ye buraiye rakchas kahin aur se nahi aate bas humare beech se paida hotey hain, balki humare andar se hi paida hotey hain. kyun, kyunki hum kuch cheezon ko nazar andaz karte hain, manna hi nahi chahte ki unka astitav bhi hai. agar kuch dikhta bhi hai toh aandekha karr dete hain unsuna karr dete hain.

jo galat ho bura ho jisse ladne se paresani ho sab bhagwan ke bharosey daal do aur zindagi ko ek aramgah mein beetao. marte rehte hain roz roz thoda thoda, apne aap ko zinda rakhne ki kosis mein.

pata nahi ye sab kya likh raha hun, kyun likh raha hun, parr likhne se shakun milta hai toh likh deta hun. sayad kisi din kuch karunga, nahi bhi karr paya toh kam se kam in saab ka hissa nahi banunga.

“Up above if something like God exists, tell him I don’t believe in him.”

It’s not in the temples, it’s not in the mosque, it’s not in the church.
It’s not at all in the rituals, nor in the prayers. Not in the religions, not in the statues and images nor in those palces they visit.
don’t follow, don’t practise. Question, realize, understand.
I found mine, it’s in me, it’s me, it’s I…

Monster

Originally posted in April 2009.

Before thoughts…
I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I’m full of pain, my heart aches, my head is going bang bang. Tomorrow I’ll see the monster itself. The 3 legged monster which killed the half of me. I never wanted this day to come in my life but still it’s there and I’ve to face it. I want to kill the monster with bare hands, I want to cause him the pain which no living creature has ever witnessed. I want to him to cause ever lasting pain in his life. I want him to live a life where he begs to die.

After thoughts…
I faced the monster. It appeared so human, the third leg was no where in sight, all I saw was a vulnerable human, ho craved for sympathy. The monster touched, may be touched was not to cause pain but it pained it pained in my heart. I feel castrated, I felt like my hands were tied to something, I couldn’t say a thing, I couldn’t cause no pain. The monster talked he spoke to me in direct and I replied it, I couldn’t do a thing. I never felt that helpless before. I don’t have answers, I’m full of questions, I cry, I go weep like a child, it’s inside it’s causing pain. The monster is not alone, he has everyone with him, the friends, the society. And I’m alone this battle is alone for me. How should I fight, I want a way, it’s not that I lack courage but it’s just not possible. I have a way and it’s important for me to get over this monster, I need understanding, will you be with me. I hate myself, I hate life, I hate society, I hate the world, I hate all those who look happy but I love you…

The monster and me…
I got to know of it’s existence a sometime before, I had heard that such monsters exist but never knew I’ll face one in my life. The day I heard of him, I wanted to kill him. This monster didn’t kill, it killed the existence, it killed inside, it made to die a slow death. His touch caused pain, so much pain that death looks better but all don’t die, brave have to live. He has 3 legs it beat with all 3 but the touch of 3rd was the one which hurt the most. I feel my only comfort will be when I expose it to light and made him to die or to live a life full of pain and humiliation. I always make horrendous imaginations about how it looks and how will I go and manage to kill it.

Chutiyee

Originally posted in March 2009.

Chutiyon se paresan hun , haarr aadmi ke chutiyape se paresan hun. harr jagah badi badi minarey khadi hain chutiyon ki, niche se lekar upoar tk sare chutiya hain in minaro mein.

Kabhi kabhi lagta hai bina chutiya bane gujara nahi, sala 10-20 hajar rupaye ke liye ek dusre ki marr lete hain insaniyat bhul jate hain, aur ye koi chor daku nahi humare shabhya samaj ke izzatdar nagrik hain. bure insaan se ladna asan hai parr insaan ki andar ki burayi se kaise ladogey.
Iski maro , uskio maro , apni bachao kya gandagi hai ye.

Sala sab apna kyun nahi dekhtey , kyun jo deserve karte ho ussey jyada pane ki chahat rakhte ho. Kyun apne imandar kamm ke alawa harr tarike se aage badhna chahte ho, dusre ko pichadne k liye unko dhakka dena tarika nahi, ye kyun nahi samjhte, daud ke unse aage nikal sakte hoto nikalo warna dusre tumse accha hai ye mano. Pata nahi kya kaise hota jaa raha hai, sala ajeeb dhancha hai samaj ka.

Kamal toh ye hai ki harr chutiyaa morality pe 1 ghante ka lecture se sakta hai, harr dusri line mein kehta hai ki aajkal kaisa jamana aa gaya hai, logon ko kya ho gaya hai.

Sala marr ke rakh li hai insaan ne insaan ki , duniya ki , society ki , harr ek cheez ki.

Sala, isi chutiyape se apne aap ko bacha ke rakhna chahta hun, parr jaise haarr taraf se chtiyon ka jaal banta jaa raha hai jo mujhe jakad ke apne andar shamil karr lena chahta hai….