When life screws you

Warning: This is a boring pessimistic post, it only has the few questions which keep poking my mind.

I was just listening to this news on Aarushi Murder case, finally it looks like they’ll be able to wrap it up with the real culprits behind bar. I do believe in that Talwar’s are innocent and it was some outsiders work. I’m biased towards this viewpoint and I want to believe in this one. It’s a rationalist view, and also an escapist view.

Getting into the irony which Talwar’s are going through in these days. Before this calamity, they were an ideal picture of a happy Indian upper middle class family. Now, suddenly one day, their only daughter is murdered, after some days the great UP police arrests the father. Just think for a moment something like this happening to you. Doesn’t it run chills down your spin. They say there is a God, what the hell was he doing at that moment. Why didn’t he save them, what was there sin. They were educated law abiding citizens of society who possibly could not harm anyone. Why they get to face all this shit? Imagine there grief pain in the moments. Loss of a daughter and getting accused of murdering her.

This was just an example of “when life screws you”, many of us would have faced similar situations in our lives. When all you feel like saying is what the fuck did I do wrong? What am I being punished for? Why me? Why me, always and every time? Did I do something wrong with someone?

At these moments the Christian belief life is a sin fits so well.

Why else does one suffer all this? What can be the reason behind that? Why is it always so difficult to be right and do right? Why is the wrong path always short whereas the right one is always so long. Why people suffer while traveling the right path. Why do one has to fight so much for getting the right done.

Why even an impotent can mobilize people for communal / racial or any fucking group riots but it takes some real balls to stand against evil or wrong.

If you’ve the answers don’t mind sharing them.

tum takal_uf ko ikhlaas samajhte ho faraz,

dost hota nahi har hanth milane wala.

Bombay needs E Sreedharan.

Just finished watching Pather Panchali. A naked honest cinema. The best thing about the movie is it’s honesty and selfishness. The movie has no purpose except to tell a tail. It uses no cheap gimmicks has no twist and turns. It serves no cheap purpose to satisfy your senses. It just moves on at it’s own pace and in most selfish way to complete the tail. This is how and only way to produce great cinema. This is what makes Ray as the most influential Indian film maker.

Oh, I forgot the topic. Yes, I’m sorry I called it Bombay. I hope Thackrey’s won’t screw me for this. They won’t, who cares about what a nobody writes in his blog. See, being a no body has it’s own benefits. In a nation where an actress is fucked up with a legal case and sent to jail for voicing something like “pre-martial sex is all correct if done safely”, being a nobody gives you freedom of speech and liberty to vomit your POV, no matter fucked up it is.

Well back to the point, I said Bombay needs a E Sreedharan. What for? It needs a Sreedharan to remediate it’s fucked up drainage system. The financial capital of the world ’s fourth largest economy doesn’t have well to do drainage. It turns into a flooded drain in monsoon. “This happens only in India.” I really can imagine the situations in the boardrooom of Bomabay Municipal Corporation, what sort of people are managing the authority and what planning or actions they might be into. It takes me back to scene of Taggart Railroad Boardroom meeting where Dagny stood alone to fight against the incompetence. It also reminds me of the committee meeting of my college fest organizers. The prime concern of such meetings are any damn thing on earth like how to pass the blame, how to market, what to plan except for how the job has to be done. I can’t think of a reason why the most tax paying city, of such a huge democracy has to do with an archaic drainage. I read at some reliable source that the Income Tax Bombay pays alone, is equal to what rest of the nation pays. Still, they have to live in such a way. The citizens of Bombay, the same people who have all the time in this world, to fight in communal riots, who have all the money / time to waste on rituals of ganpati puja, who have all the time to hold demonstration for changing the name of the city and who have time to kick out the North Indians out of there city, don’t really have enough consideration and time to come out in open against this fucking issue. The cause which fucks up there life every monsoon. The self appointed guardinas of Bombay, fucking Thackarey’s can’t they see this issue. Don’t they have time to protest/ demonstrate against this. I really can’t understand the indifference of Mumbaikers for such an important issue of there life and there beloved city. What Bombay needs is someone like E Sreedharan, a one single man who has a Mind, guts and willingness to take on a project to rebuilt the screwed up drainage of Bombay. A person whose prime concern is nothing but his work. He has no knowledge of how to achieve position and power with means other than his work. Who builds , who creates single handedly. But India doesn’t have enough silent heroes of his stature. With no one like this in sight it really doesn’t look like a bright future for Mumbai. I’m really waiting to see when and how the situation of Bombay will improve. I hope someone wise enough could go to MNS and give those assholes a real cause to fight and protest for. There was a lot more I wanted to write but suddenly lost the intrest, don’t no why.

Anyways for those who say, who am I to say all this?

“har ek baat pe kehto ho ki tu kya hai,

tum hi batao ye andazee guftagu kya hai”

Let me wrap it up with one of my fav hindi song from yet unreleased movie Paanch.

Har sparsh mein, kheenchaav hai, har dosti mein tanaav hai
Duwa bhi mein, bala bhi mein, meri dava, mera ghaav hai

Aadhi roshni, aadhe andhere, aadhi zindagi yun na jalaao
Tum jo sochte hai woh tum ho
Socho jaago sab ko jagaao

Ye sahi hai, ye galat, meri maano, socho mat
Ye na pehno, woh na bolo, ho sake toh munh na kholo
Ye pado mat, woh suno mat, main chununga, tum chuno mat
Kat-te jaao, mit-te jaao, dabna seekho, dabte jaao
Bas ab aur nahin, ab aur nahin, aur nahin, ab aur nahin
Bas aur nahin, ab aur nahin
(Aur nahin, ab aur nahin, bas aur nahin, ab aur nahin
Aur nahin, ab aur nahin, bas aur nahin)
Saans lo, dum bharo, chillaakar, sab se kaho
Sar jhuka! khuda hoon main!

Read more about this song and other songs of this movie, on this great post:

http://passionforcinema.com/music-diaries-paanch-more/

“I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude.”

Kurt Cobain.

Oh, I love you Kurt, I love you.

Roark’s and Glalt’s of real life.

Roark’s and Glalt’s of real life.

The point I’m trying to make is – Ayn Rand is the
greatest philosopher by far and shows the best possible meaning to a Human Life. But whatever characters she potrayed were to extreme and so was her definition of Objectivisim.

Let me give you a list of few Heros (my personal list of Prime
Movers), all of them are objectivist but none is in all the senses
as defined by Rand.

This is a small list, comprising of a few names whom I can recollect at this moment.

1. E Sreedharan, the man behind Konakan Railway and Delhi Metro.
Read more about him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._Sreedharan
Now he is a prime mover, but if we goto Rand’s definition- He is no
objectivist as he works for a Goverment Enterprise.

2. Dhirubhai Ambani, started from gutters built a mega empire. No
Indian needs an introduction for him. He is the one most near to
Rand’s characters. Now, if you look into his personal life and way
he did business you’ll find many loopholes which drift him away for
being a perfect life as per Rand.

3. Thomas Alva Edison, he doesn’t need an introduction. Just give
the reason why he isn’t a true Objectivist as per Ayn Rand. He believed in god. Though he had a different name for it, he called it supreme power.

4. Henry Ford, again needs no introduction, he had a failure in initial days, he founded an Automobile company with someone’s finance and has to shut it down as it didn’t suceed, the reason was infrior build quality. Now a
Rand’s character iss always perfect, even if Roark made a mistake
once in designing Enright House, he went ahead took the blame
demolished and redesigned. But with Henry Ford it was different, he
failed to shell out cars of superior quality at one point of time.
Another mistake which Henry Ford made was to leave his company to
his only son a who was second hander.

5. Steve Jobs, he was a hippy at one point of time and also did
drugs. No way possible for an ideal Rand’s character.

6. Thomas John Watson (IBM Man), for similar reasons as Dhirubhai
Ambani he can’t be called as an pure objectivist, he was actively
involved in Politics and did use a lot of political manipulations to
make his company profit.

A lot more names can be added to list.

To end this post – “Each man to his own.” Ayn Rand.

free flowing thoughts of an idle Mind

Now something which is puzzling me is Aarushi Talwar murder case in Noida and I’ve lost my sleep over it. Why would someone murder a 14 years old girl. Particularly, the role of her parents is something which troubles a lot. What are they trying to hide. They can’t be murderer, honor killing can’t be considered asher parents are educated and can’t fall for such things. But what the hell and who is hiding what. Our already superfluous police and system proved it’s worthlessness once more. Fuck them they are investigating a scene of crime and assholes couldn’t find another body lying at the scene of crime.

Whom should we blame for these motherfucking beer belied police personnel. They are always more busy collecting hafta and solving cases where they are paid by the either party. The motto of our police now seems to be vasooli from common man to compensate there low salary. How can you blame them when each policeman has to pay anything ranging between from a lakh to 10 to crack through the entrance and that is not the end they’ve keep on paying whole life to get desired postings, promotions, may be even medals. Let’s see who sits on top of this whole Police system, our IPS’s. How are they selected, well they are the so called best brains of our country.

They are the people who crack IAS, one of the toughest entrance to crack in whole world.  The most hardworking ideal people  in India, whom each parent produce as an example to his kids. Haven’t you heard things in your child like so and so bahiyaa or didi cracked IAS, how lucky are his/her parents, such parents are blessed. It’s not everybody’s Bhagaya to have such kids.

Fuck the Bhagaya of such parents and such children. I don’t mean there are no exceptions and the rule applies blindly to each Policeman or IAS or IPS or whatever. But this is how the fucking majority is and when you talk in general you talk about the majority.

The IAS praising people, do you know it’s one of the worst and primitive ways to chose an Administrator. Come on oh India, till when will we continue with practices methods and laws left behind to us by Britishers. Even the British have left such crap things long ago, and emulated America in most of the ways and that is for better. Administrators are born and not made, someone who can mug up hundreds of books on history (be it psychology, geography or whatsoever) can be a good Administrator and help in Nation Building is a concept beyond my mind. IIM’s choose administrators, in a way it should be done. Well leave it, who am I to write and criticize something which is now going on for years (Fuck off, who asks this, you know that even Sati was a practice even more sacred this IAS exam going on from years.) If something went wrong generations ago, accept it and rectify it rather than continuing with the same. But who cares. No, I’m not that capable to change all that still I’ve fading hope that one day I’ll do it.

Anyways enough of crap from me, I missed the whole topic Aarushi’s murder, 5 days after murder we’re still clueless. Let’s see when is it solved, I’m fully hoked.

KKR lost in IPL, I’m so happy at SRK’s loss. SRK the sameless face of crap Bollywood cinema. The man who presents whole of India as an intelectuaaly deprived nation. SRK’s fav book is Fountainehad – Ayn Rand. I’m sure his fav characteres would be Peter Keating (whom he represents in real life) and Elsworth Toohey (on likes of whom he survives). Enough of crap again, these are some free flowing thoughts of an idle Mind which doesn’t have a direction.

One more though to end, now I’ve decided to use the M in Mind always in uppercase, the way they use for god. May be this will help people to realize there most valued asset, which makes there existence.  Have you ever thought why do we write “I” always in a capital. Salute! to the generations and people who realized the importance of this word.

GLOOMY SUNDAY MORNING

FUCK IS MY FAV EGLIESH WORD. It can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverd and gives out all your feelings which might rather take 2-3 adjectives. Whenever I try to meditate this is the only word which resonates in my mind.  Fuck Me!!! I have nothing better to do at this point of time on a Sunday Morning. Couldn’t sleep last night watched TV for the whole and nopes it’s not coz I love television it’s because my PC is crashed and can’t afford a new one till my next salary. Fuck me, this is one more reason for me to say Life Sucks. Anyways, I’m never short of reasons to say or believe Life Sucks!!!

Another most recent reason is changing of job at a wrong time when everyone is talking about recesion. Under hell lot of pressure to perform to show something nearthe target but no work is availble to do, how should I prove myself as a worthy employee.  Anways, I might be fired in a matter of few months. Fuck off, who cares! Well what did I say now, who cares. Lol, i’m fucking fooling myself. I care, coz no job can further ruin my already ruined situation. Oh, a lot of pessimism, my optimistic friends are gonna screw me, if they read this. Have faith, keep hope. These words suck big time. The only truth is end, my end and I’m looking forward to it.

 

Morning Raaga

It’s 4:00 AM no office still I’m awake, can’t sleep. Enjoying my best moments of the entire day. Mehndi Hasan playing on Winamp (Ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane k liye aa. Aa fir se mujhe chodd k jane k liye aa.) Awesome singer lyrics, awesome singer. Why can’t he be a mainstream thing, why are people so weired, why do they listen Dard-E-Disco. Why Javed Akhtar wrote this, what the fuck did he think? Now the song changes (Jo thake thake se the haunsle) another Gem from Mehndi Hasan (again same question why don’t people like him in mainstream). Why do I like him? Am I different from others? Am I dumber?Oh, Kurt said it well.

I’m not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone,
But I have a light
The day is done,
I’m having fun
I think I’m dumb
Or maybe just happy

Think I’m just happy

My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We’ll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we’ll come down
And have a hangover

Have a hangover

Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up

I’m not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone,
But I have a light
the day is done,
I’m having fun
I think I’m dumb
Or Maybe just happy

Was he in a similar situation when he wrote this??? He feels like a brother which I never had. Man why did he suicide. No one will understand, he was just too unhappy. He was too honest, he could see the end very clear. He did drugs. Drugs are bad, they are wrong, they kill but so does Dard-E-Disco. Why to accept Dard-E-Disco and despise heroin. Atleast, heroin gives u a life for sometime. It elevates you to a status a human should normally live, it makes life short and gay. I think I know why people do drugs, I’m sure drugs are much better than Dard-E-Disco.

Was reading how Abbas-Mastan made Race. Fuck them!!! Assholes, who gives them money. I can feel something crawling in my skin and biting me Paanch still isn’t released.

Now playing Abida Parveen.

3 things about GOD:

1. Either he doesn’t exist.

2. Else he has put the world on self-destruction mode.

3. Or he is too feeble and highly over estimated.

Should sleep now, life is Raping me again. I’ve to fight to save my Ass. Things will never change and improve. Looking forward to my End.